I have opinions on…everything.
Well, almost everything.
Anyone who knows me knows that.
You can probably gather that just by browsing this site lol.
And sometimes I get a little feisty.
Hey, I own it.
What I am not, however, is a sucker.
Not for lame financial advice.
Not for marketing tricks.
I’m certainly not a blind follower of social “rules”.
With that being said, I will let you in on a little secret:
I’m also a romantic.
And that, my friends, is why I think Valentine’s Day is a fool’s “holiday” and a total waste of the concept of a “special” day.
Valentine’s Day Is All About Money
Just as a disclaimer, I feel the same way even when I do have someone in my life at this time of the year so it’s not that I’m bitter at being single!
Why would a supposed romantic be against the concept of Valentine’s Day?
The reasons are simple, yet many.
The first thing I hate about this supposed holiday is how counter to the popular saying “money can’t buy love”, everything about celebrating the day revolves around spending money.
The overriding message is you can win your partner’s heart with materiality:
- Expensive Cars
- Fancy dinners
- Expensive trips
Hell, Jennifer Lopez had the balls to write a song called “Love Don’t Cost a Thing”.
I wonder what would happen if her partner just gave her a card with a balloon or a rose.
Or if they made a reservation at a restaurant for which they clipped a coupon for a special Valentine’s Day dinner.
She’d drop his ass, that’s what would happen!?
Hollow words…that’s all they are.
It’s all about image, not substance.
And why are past acts of douchery seemingly forgiven because they did something nice for Valentine’s Day?
It’s like someone can be a neglectful asshole or bitch for 364 days, but if they go out of their way to do something special on this one day…BAM!… all is magically forgiven.
Or at least that’s how it appears to work.
It’s not just the money, or social issues that annoy me, it’s the core relationship stuff more than anything.
Valentine’s Day Isn’t Anything Special
I have a hard time wrapping my head around why there is so much fuss over this particular day and the things it represents:
- Why can’t any random day be special? What’s wrong with March 17? Or August 8th? Or better yet…
- Why is it a once-a-year thing for so many people? Having a special date night each month or even each week set aside is too much hassle perhaps?
- You can’t tell someone you love them every day and have it mean as much or more?
- Proposing or getting married on February 14th isn’t even romantic. It’s lame, predictable, and overdone.
- Don’t you want your partner to know that they’re special and loved all the time?
- Wouldn’t you want to know that you are occupying someone else’s thoughts at random times, not just a day when it’s forced upon them?
Seriously, since when is actually caring for someone with all of your heart, not enough?
Why is it that we have to measure affection, not in moments spent but in dollars?
No, now it’s like we’re being told that if you don’t go out and buy fancy jewelry or even an expensive car you really don’t care as much as you could if you did those things.
While I’m a big fan of doing things “just because”, wouldn’t this grand gesture day be better suited to happening on a day that actually means something?
- Perhaps the day you first met?
- Maybe commemorating the first actual date?
- How about the first time you said: “I love you”?
Pretty much anything rather than a day that really has no meaning and when everyone else is doing something similar!
Talk about following the crowd and being uninspired and unoriginal!
Valentine’s Day Isn’t About “Real Love”
Show how much you love them with this diamond blah blah blahEvery jewelry store commercial around Valentine’s Day
Give the gift of performance or luxury or whatever the fuck we’re sellingEvery car commercial around Valentine’s Day
I’m not against romance.
In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
I’m for genuine romance.
The kind of romance that is spontaneous.
The kind of romance that comes from the heart, not from marketers.
The kind of genuine romance that leaves someone at a loss for words.
Original gestures that mean something real, not doing things that some marketer tells you you should be doing or giving.
Not this commercialized, manufactured, nonsensical bullshit.
Why not something like this:
Give the gift of YOU this Valentine’s Day
You know, like actually being present in the relationship rather than trying to make up for your lack of attention or trying to show off how much you can spend.
Or maybe this:
Give him/her/them something they really want this Valentine’s Day–love and attention
Yeah, how about actually showing and proving that you care for someone rather than trying to buy them or their forgiveness?
Hey, I’m not a love expert.
Never claim to be.
Your relationship is whatever you want or need it to be.
I’m just a guy who is tired of dealing with the total bullshit that people are fed about what Valentine’s Day is.
If your idea of Valentine’s Day differs from mine, so be it.
If you’re happy, that’s all that matters.
I just know a lot of people need to hear (or read) this because they do feel the same way.
Do you buy into the whole V-Day thing, making elaborate plans or grand gestures simply because it’s “socially required”? Do you take the other approach and express your feelings whenever and for no specific reason other than wanting to? Or, have you given up on love, period?